Analyzing Away Messages

I began chatting on AOL when I was about 10. At that time I think you were pretty much stuck with three away messages: "I am currently away from my computer right now." "I'm out for lunch." or "I'm playing a game that takes up the entire screen." or something like that. But then something happened and AOL let you make your own away messages. So for the past 10 years I've been a regular chatter on AOL Instant Messenger. Sometimes I use Gmail. I tried MSN. But I still revert to AOL. And I find the away messages people come up with fascinating. It says a lot about a person.

For instance...

The Loser
These people are still too lazy to come up with anything for their message and still uses the default, "I"m currently away from my computer right now."

The Obsessive
The person who is constantly saying what they're doing at that.exact.moment. These are fun if you're in the stalking mood. It usually goes something like, "Lunch. Then class 3-5. Then Meijer. Then gym. Then TV." It's like you could totally stalk them down at Meijer if you so desired.

The Quoter
Every message is a quote. This has been my style lately. I'm not going to be a loser. And I'm not going to tell you exactly where I am. So lets just do a quote that I'm in the mood for. Sometimes the quotes can be really off the wall. And sometimes people don't put the quotation marks around the quote so you don't know if its them being really witty or odd or if its someone else they stole it from. One time my friend had a rather offensive away message...turns out it was a joke from some online video he saw.

The Ambiguous
People leave these away messages when they find something that happened in their own life so great or terrible, that they put it as their away message, but it totally makes no sense to anyone else. For example: "Ten purple turtles! HAHAHAHA" or "I can't believe he just did that..." I'm starting to think this is a tactic that gets people to IM them. Smart.

The Forgetful
These are the people who completely forget to put a message up and drive me crazy. You IM them and an hour later they go, "Oh, hey". Oh hey, yourself, jerk.

The Simplifier
These are the easiest to deal with. They usually are, "I'm not here." "Out." or "Gone." They speak it like it is. They aren't too informative, but you know not to bother to IM them until they come back. It's a classic. And it's how away messages should be.

Are there any other categories I'm forgetting?

Time on my Hands

Like most college students, I have a Facebook. And like most college students with Facebook, I post ridiculous photos or videos of myself for my 300 "friends" to see. So it isn't unusual to once in a while receive a comment telling me I have too much time on my hands.
I have never given too much thought to that phrase... until now.
What does that even mean?
Well, let me translate for you.
"You have too much time on your hands." is equivalent to "You just wasted your time." "You have no sense of what is important in life." "You are ridiculous."
I, however, believe that my photos and videos are rather entertaining. It doesn't take long in these modern times to upload a video or a photo onto your site, so in reality, my three minute video probably only took 45 minutes to make and put on the Internet.
Besides, what am I supposed to be doing with my time? Studying? Are you kidding me? It's my last semester. I have more important things to do.
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