Dear Guy at Bar

Dear Guy at Bar,

You smelled like an Abercrombie & Fitch store when you approached me. Undoubtedly you were hoping that would cover your true odor, but a masked odor is just as bad as a nasty odor. I just wanted to thank you, though, because you taught me that a woman truly can size up a man in five seconds. Perhaps it is not fair to you, but I was not interested in you from the start. However, your interest in me was evident as I kept my back to you, yet you still found it necessary to strike up a conversation. Perhaps you are unable to read non-verbal cues. No biggie, I will give you a verbal clue. Remember when I got up from the table and I said, "It was nice to meet you?" Then remember how you said, "Well, I didn't even really meet you. What's your name?" Yeah, if you didn't even get my name, I'm probably not that into you.

Anyways, take care and good luck on the next new young lady you meet. Lighten up on the aftershave and next time, ask for the girl's name before she gets up to leave you.

Jen

Group Projects

This fall I revisited the Community College I had once adored and came face to face with what may be the devil itself: group projects.

Let me tell you something, readers of my blog, nothing makes or breaks a class like a group project.

The best experience I had with a group project was in a Religion & Film class at the University I attended. I had two good friends in the group (that I actually met in the class) and it didn't matter how well we did, we had FUN. We involved eating/giving out food during the presentation, we learned some stuff and we laughed A LOT.

I've come to the conclusion if you want to have a successful group project, three things need to happen:

1) It needs to be assigned after classmates have gotten to know each other.

2) The classmates need to be able to pick their group members or their topic.

3) The professor has to give good guidelines on what they expect from the project.

The project I'm doing currently did not have any of these three. Thus, it sucks. I didn't get to pick my classmates (not that it would have mattered, the class meets once a week and no one knew each other when it was assigned), I didn't bother figuring out what kind of topic I would have wanted to present on so I just went along with whatever, and the professor has made the assignment so lenient, I think we could burst into song during the presentation and it'd be okay. Actually, that's not a bad idea...

So despite a few good first few weeks, this class has broken into a disaster and I have a final and presentation next week that can't come soon enough so I can move on with my life.

It's really too bad. I was hoping this class would be a motivation to go back and get my Masters. Instead, it was a gentle nudge of a reminder telling me getting a degree is no walk in the park...especially if you have to deal with ridiculous group projects.

Apology to Panera Bread

Dear Panera Bread,

Unless you follow my Twitter, you may not be aware of the bitterness I held toward you for approximately two hours this evening. I came upon your location in Kettering with high hopes of dunking one of your delicious Nutty Chocolate Chipper Cookies in your savory unlimited refill coffee. To my dismay, as I came upon your vast array of bakery delights I saw no cookies. None! Except some kind that looked healthy and scared me away. So I tweeted how you, Panera Bread, failed. Failed. Failed. Failed. I sat in your store wondering why of all the Paneras in the world, I ended up in one without the cookies I wanted. You somehow must have figured out that I was disappointed, because as I left, one of your employees offered me a free loaf of cinnamon raisin bread. That is so nice! Thank you, Panera Bread! I apologize for my bitter feelings toward you. They were not necessary. You are awesome and I will continue to spend way too much money eating your glorious cuisine.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Starbucks Etiquette

Tonight I found myself at Starbucks. I had just left Panera Bread. Panera closes at 8 p.m. and they offer unlimited refills on coffee. Thus, I left with a full bladder and a need to continue working. So I went into Starbucks welcoming its lovely big bathroom and better music. (Because on a side note, Panera was playing TERIBLE music this evening.)
Here's the thing. After ordering my tea and settling in, I'm busily working on my laptop (albeit crappy laptop) with my iPod blaring in my ears when this metro guy walks up to me. He asks if he can sit across from me. I was in one of the comfy chairs. I pull out an earbud and go, "What? Uh. Yeah."
So he sits and proceeds to call someone on his cell. The someone must have not picked up because he shook his head disgusted and sat there for a minute.
Okay. Was I supposed to strike up conversation with this guy?
First of all, he breached the "This is my space bubble" rule by sitting across from me. Everyone knows if there are other available seats around, there's no need to burst someones personal seating bubble. Second of all, I was clearly busy working.
Yet, somehow, as I saw him get up and leave the coffee shop I wondered if I had been rude?
You tell me.